Having Kids Made Me Less of a Man, or so the Study Shows

My wife often makes fun of me and calls me a wimp, or says I am more of a woman than she is. Sometimes, it gets said in not so nice terms. Depends on the situation I guess. The point is not about my wife and I however. The point is that I have been trying to figure out why so many people think I am such a softy these days. “What happened to good ole Johnny T?” they ask. Well, thanks to some smart people at Northwestern University, I think I know the answer. For once, it has become perfectly acceptable, to blame something on the kids.

According to a study published in the Proceedings of the National Acedmy of Sciences, a male’s testosterone levels drop substantially once they become a father. Findings that suggest that perhaps, now this might sound crazy, perhaps dads are actually wired to be a caregiver. Dotors and scientists alike are calling these reports intriguing. I think they just need to accept the facts and get in touch with that less manly side.

I am determined to make the best use of these findings though. How can the new modern dad make the best of this recently published study? For one, we can take pride in the fact that we are actually wired for this job, and are proud to be doing it. We can also now have an excuse to shed a tear with our children at the beginning of Finding Nemo. Not that I’ve done that, I’m just using it as an example… Cough… If you are a persuasive male, you might even use it to your advantage when you are sick, claiming your low testosterone levels are making you extra sensitive. Who doesn’t like having hot soup and toast delivered to you on the couch?

I think the most important fact about this study is that it shows that fathers are programmed to be more than just a biological piece of the equation. For those dads who are engaged in their children’s lives, this makes it a pleasure to just be working the course of nature. It also gives basis to encourage other dads to be more involved and more engaged. It’s not a “girly” thing to be engaged with your kids. It’s a little less manly, apparently, but that’s okay.

Next time my wife calls me out on how “not much of a man” I am I think I will let her be right about it. I might even start taking it as a compliment. And of course, when hanging out with the dudes, I will sit around and say “hey man, having kids made me less of a man. There’s a study to back that up now!”

33 Comments

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  11. I love this post. Embrace your daddy-hood. Actually, I think men who are good fathers are MORE of a man. It can be a tough job, sometimes. My husband has been a great dad for 24 years. But he’ll be glad to know there’s a scientific study that explains why he tears up at movies too!

  12. I think saying “Thank You” in response to your wife’s claim is a great idea. You could, in return, suggest she’s got a bit too much testosterone – could she give you some?

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  16. I love this article. Consider me a friend and ally. Following you on Twitter now.

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  20. Interesting premise. If the research is proven to be true, then it explains a lot. Paternal love is actually similar to maternal instincts!

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  25. Having kids and being a good dad to them is as manly as it gets (even if the man isn’t as aggressive and testeroney 🙂 but who wants a dad that thinks about challenges and adventures in the world all the time? they need a DAD)

    The study also showed it’s temporary, just while raising those cute babies and trying to get along with a hormonal wife..things level out for everyone in time.

    And you seem like a nice guy, because if I were a man whose wife said that to me, I’d tell her it’s because she isn’t much or a woman. Or then she must have been desperate and had no other options, since she married me. Or that when the kids are grown, she can go find herself a “real man”, because I had enough.

    I had verbal abuse in marriages. Maybe my suggestions aren’t the answer, but eew at being so disrespectful of a man that is a good dad to your kids. I’m sorry to hear it.

    • I am sorry to hear you have been through that. Maybe I should have been more comical with my approach in the beginning of this post. My wife is not abusive. I was trying to take kind of a snarky approach and my apologies if it seemed liked something it’s not.

      My wife is very loving and supportive. She has said those things, but never in anger or hate.

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  32. Having Kids Made Me Less of a Man, or so the Study Shows : LateNightParents.com http://t.co/ad3aWklb > One Dad’s POV. #Dads #parenting

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